Originally posted on Catholic Sensibility:
According to Tom Ehrich, these three are the biggest threats to marriage. Not gays, feminists, contraceptives, or other conservative boogeymen and scapegoats of the past half century. I tend to agree. We married couples can be our own worst enemies when it comes to the overall perception of our shared life. I’m disinclined–seriously so–to blame somebody else for the obstacles I can’t overcome, or that I transcend only with difficulty.
The first, poverty, seems to be more of a correlation. In other words, people who live together outside of marriage, who have children out of wedlock, and otherwise suffer blown-up families tend to be the poor. Another correlation might be those who have not been able to avoid prison, or when one or both partners are soldiers, or when one or both get caught in some country illegally and suffer enforced family separation.
I can testify that my wife and I have ups and downs in the amount of energy we put into our relationship. Sometimes, our child is more the focus. And we wake up one morning realizing that we haven’t had a “date” or couple-only time in some weeks.